Review: Walkers Crunchy Wotsits Extra Flamin' Hot

If it doesn't win the title for most convoluted name, it should for being preposterously over spiced.

This crisp is on fire, much like the world. No fucks have been given for the meeker of our people, like me, who will be reduced to drooling, mouth open wide, jaw paralysed.

There are echos of Spicy Nik Naks of yonder but the ingredient department put the decimal in the wrong column when ordering the chilli.

It left my heart pounding and all my senses amped to 11. The putrid purple packet took on ultraviolet sheen of mouth-malice. The font team went literally mad. The magnified corn puff knobbly sticks are literally aflame.

The snack equivalent of being asked “what are you fucking looking at, pal?” If you need an escape from the never-ending-doom-news-feed then this will render you incapacitated for some time.

I'm not saying don't do it but I want to make sure I was clear that I warned you.

Rating: No.